Here’s the deal with this car: It’s not actually stolen. I got it for free from my uncle who got it for free from one of his neighbors. We were gonna fix it up and sell it and make a quick buck til we decided it wouldn’t be quick or easy, or even profitable. The car’s got a bad head gasket and a bunch of other issues so after a cost-benifit analysis we decided we could get just as much out of it by NOT fixing it up and just turning it in for scrap. But do you think we could just turn in a car that runs and drives (until it overheats) without beating the pee pee out of it first? Of course NOT! So I called up my buddy Stratton, convinced him not to go to the dunes with his buddies and come help me beat this thing instead and I think he’s glad he came. I am too cause where’s the fun in beating a car to death all by yourself?
Let me tell you how much WORK it is to go do something fun like this. No wonder this kind of crap has never really made it as a mainstream recreational activity. First I had to round up a tow dolly to get the car out of my driveway and down to stratton’s house so he wouldn’t have to drive up. And that involved waiting for my buddy to move 3-4 cars so we could get the dolly out, then I helped him use it to move his jeep from one location to another, then wait for his friend to open the garage door and blablabla …
Anyways, I got the tools loaded up, the car, the air compressor cause I had a feeling we’d bump a tire off its bead and sure enough we did so it’s a good thing we brang that compressor. Then, anticipating that we’d have a car that wouldn’t be transportable even on a tow dolly, we loaded it on stratton’s flat bed trailer which was a job in its self. The ramps to his trailer were a little too steep so when we drove it up em, the bottom snagged the fuel lines and tore em out of their couplers so we had to fuss with that for a half hour, and got it to work of course.
But even before that, the thing threatened to not start so we did this, tried that, hem-hawed around for a while scratched our heads, etc. and who knows what we finally ended up doing to get it to work but it started up – then we snagged the fuel lines on the trailer. Those fuel lines were in a stupid vulnerable spot tell you what – that kinda horse poop would never happen on a neon.
Anyways it took from 8:30 til about 12:30 – nearly a half day’s work to get this ball rolling and everything, moving it from trailer to trailer, unhooking this trailer, hooking up that trailer, etc. etc. etc. Then we drove it out to dell, unloaded it and had just a grand ol time beating that thing, getting it stuck, re-filling it with dirty water from puddles in the area, oh man it was just a lot of fun. Oh and I got pulled over on the way down for towing in the left lane. I’d forgotten about that little rule. She let me off though, bless her heart and bless the hearts of all other law enforcement agencies and personnel for not giving us crap for having fun destroying a vehicle the way we were. I’m sure we broke a number of laws cause usually when you’re having that much fun, the cops will often try to find a law that you’re breaking and shut you down. I’ve seen it all too often, especially in this blessed state of utah. Pshh. Don’t get me started.
We ended up getting stuck, tried to dig out the STICKIEST, GOOIEST mud you can imagine for an hour or two, started running out of daylight and couldn’t find anyone to pull us out. We dang near had to leave it there and come back for it the next day but just as we were leaving we found a nice guy with his boys who all came and pulled us out with their 4-wheeler and side-by-side. The good news is the car still runs and drives so there will likely be another session of sunfire bashing at some point in the future. Stay tuned!